Of Misfits and Mayhem
by MouseDragon
Summary: The pope walks into a bar... Wait, wrong joke... A an alien, a mutant child that can talk to machines with her mind and a giant robot walk into a bar... Yep, thats the one.
1. Chapter 1

I dont own Transformers. I wish I did, because seriously? Who doesnt? I do however own cute little Five, Silus, Shimmerstrike and Cougar. If you find them cool enough to use in a fanfic, your welcome to do so, but please, pretty please, send me a link, because I really want to read it.

Ok, storyline! Everyone knows the goverment conspiracy cover up speel, its been done to death. But come on, how else do you throw a bunch of aliens together? One year after the battle for the allspark. The Autobots have a base established. Yes, I am taking creative liberties, but I dont own autobots and this is a fanfic site. We have established this. Please dont kill me. The whole message thingy that Optimus sent out "We are here, we are waiting, yadda yadda yadda" has been heard, several Autobots have responded... Hello, there are hundreds of fics about said autobots and how they were found and such. This one is mine. What if... Sector 7 was just a front... For something far more... Sinister... MWHAHAHAHA! I give you... SECTOR 9! Five is mutant, a child with a very special talent. The ability to understand and communicate with machines. As in hack into computers... WITH HER MIND. MWHAHAHAHA! Ehrm... Sorry, the whole evil scientist thing is making me want to practice the evil laugh... I bet you can see where this is heading and you probably wanna use this idea, which is fine. My muse is too stoned to care if you steal her idea's. Silus is an alien from another planet. DUH, knew this was coming, didnt you? Think Predator, but less ugly and not as growly gonna kill everything in sight because I can. He crash landed here, gasp, and is, suprise suprise, being studied... cue weird sci fi music Than we have Shimmerstrike. Our poor little NBE, who happened to respond to Optimus's message, got nailed by the goverment before he could tell anyone he was here and was dragged down into the Sector Nine DUM DUM DUM DUUUUUUUUUUUM To be studied, because the other Autobots sure as heck werent gonna let themselves be and NBE 1, pretty much went boom. Lots to take in, I know, bear with me. Ok, so they are all being kept in this secret goverment lab place, when suprise suprise, they meet. Starts with Five and Silus, because well, Five, who is now 11 years old, having been raised in the lab is allowed pretty much to run free and is treated like a favorite pet by the scientists and Silus, who is kept in a cage, has quickly become her best friend. Alright, my grammer, spelling and punctuation SUCK. I am aware of this. I have a learning disability and spell check can only do so much. PLEASE dont hate me. My mind is alot smarter then my brain and they have lightsaber battles over what ends up being typed. Sometimes, my mind loses. Ok, now that my short story leading up to the short story is over... ONWARD TO THE SHORT STORY! YAY!

P.S- Yeah, angst, violence, cussing, all that good stuff. Dont like it? Dont read it. You have been warned.

Of Misfits and Mayhem, Chapter 1.

The ancient six armed warrior slowly opened one eye, the slightest whimper from the little girl sleeping across the room causing his pointed ears to twitch. The faint sounds that reached him next, opened the other eye as he devoted his attention to both the child's growing distress and a strange, mechanical cry of some sort. Five? His deep timbre echoed softly, waking the girl from her fitful sleep. She looked around, alarmed. Easy Five, Silus said soothingly. S...Silus... She whispered as the mechanical cry grew louder. I hear it Five. Its... Its scared... She said, her voice filled with sadness. He blinked, rolling easily to his feet and approaching the bars of the cage, crouching there. You can feel it? Yeah... Its... Its a machine... But... Its smart... Real smart... Silus tilted his head, deep in thought as the mechanical sounds dulled, than became silent. Perhaps it is a new friend. He said, his deep amber eyes meeting her soft green ones as he tried to reassure her in the only way he could. She nodded, but he could see the worry on her face. You shoud try to return to sleep Five. There is nothing you can do for it now. Will you watch over me Silus? Always, he said, nodding as she curled back up in her hammock and pulled the blankets over her tiny body. Late into the night, as the child slept, the alien who watched her from his cage, thinking over the strange sounds and the statement she had made. That sound had been too familiar... The same sound, they had heard exactly one year ago, when the laboratory had been put on lockdown because of an attack on the dam and explosions had rocked the walls and floor as Five clung to him through the bars, screaming about an evil coming to destroy the world and something called allspark. He could only hope, the sound was not an omen of impending doom for them both.

Five was woken by the sound of security door being unlocked. Yawning she stretched as scientist entered with two trays of food. Morning Joe! She said cheerfully. Why, good mornin to ya miss Five, the tall black man said with a grin. An mornin to ya too old grumpy butt. Joe grinned at Silus, who hissed and bared his elongated fangs, than grumbled about how it was too early to be a good morning. He set one both of the trays on the table, than unlocked Silus's cage. Good news. Max wont be in for another two hours. Enjoy your freedom. SIlus grinned and stepped out of his cage, grateful for the short periods of time when the supervising scientist wasnt there and he was allowed to stretch his legs. After three years of imprisonment, he had given up on fighting them and in turn, many of the scientists had learned to trust the massive blue skinned alien. He stretched his six arms, rolling onto his toes and reaching for the ceiling as various joints popped. Five wrinkled her nose, shovelling scrambled eggs into her mouth as she watched her friend. He stuck his 2 foot long prehensile tongue out at her, doing a graceful back handspring, landing on one of his middle right hands and landing neatly infront of her, where he leaned forward, ruffling her hair. Show off. Five said with a grin. Always, Silus replied, eyeing the tray infront of him. He detested scrambled eggs. Slimey, strange smelling goo. He ignored them, grabbing a sausage and popping it into his mouth.

-three hours later-

Today, you will be attempting to communicate with a sentient non biological lifeform. Five blinked, looking up at Dr. Migs. The woman smiled down at her. Follow me. Sighing Five followed, as they to her suprise, they went up. Walking down a brick tunnel, her eyes widened at the massive being bolted to the floor. You will be permitted to interact freely, security clearance is upped. You may come here whenever you wish, with the understanding that a full report of all findings is to be given at the end of each encounter and you are to maintain a distance of 20 feet at all times. Do you understand? Yeah... I mean yes ma'am! Five muttered, staring at the metallic being infront of her.

(("Author note: Shimmerstrike was captured before he had a chance to scan an alt form, therefor his form is based on the protoform seen in the movie, when the transformers first landed. The shiney silver doesnt look like a car, looks like a giant japanese anime mech type thing. That is all. We now return you to your regularly sheduled fanfiction"))

He was increadable, humanoid in form, but seemingly made of some kind of silver metal. Closing her eyes, she attempted to reach out and link with his proccessor. To her suprise she felt him, in ways that no other machine had ever felt. Instead of the cold, calculated mind of most machines, his mind was warm and alive. She was about to search for programming when a soft, almost human sounding voice spoke inside my head. Who...Are you? Five blinked. No machine had ever spoken to her this way before. The most she had picked up on was programmed responses in binary. My name is Five... She replied, curiousity building.I talk to machines. Do you have a name? It...It is Shimmerstrike... Where am I? He asked, his voice filled with pain. Sector Nine, she said, its a human based laboratory devoted to the study of extra terrestrials for the betterment of mankind. You keep... Beings from other planets here... LIke this? He sounded horrified. Yes, she said, feeling sorry for him. How many others are there here? He asked. Just two. You and my friend Silus. Silus... Is he... Like me? She felt the briefest feeling of worry. No, he's biological, fleshy like me. Suddenly, something happened that had never happened before. She felt something wrap around her mind, gently probing. Terrified she tried to shove it away and the feeling instantly withdrew. What... What did you do? She whispered. I am...Sorry...For frightening you... I ment no harm. He said. I was simply trying to get a feel for you. Gathering information is what I do, I looked at him, to my suprise his head had turned, intense optics glowing blue looked at me curiously. I backed up. Number Five? I blinked, looking up at Dr. Migs. We have contact Dr. Migs, Five said softly. Good. Lets try some stimulation and see what kind of response we get. Shimmerstrike looked away as they fired up the generators, preparing to send electrical impulse through the cables that had been attached to his head, chest and limbs. To Five's suprise, his massive metal hands tightened into fists. Wait... she was about to say when the first shock was released. Shimmerstrike jerked against the steel bolting him down and Five heard something no machine had ever shown. A muffled cry of pain. Dr...Dr...Migs... What is the response Five? She blinked, looking at the massive being shuddering infront of her and remembered the nights when they had dragged Silus's limp form back to his cell after days of simaliar tests. He... No response, she said, hoping they would stop. Five looked at him as he jerkingly turned his head to her, those blue optics flickering and suddenly she felt sick inside. P...P...Please... His voice was warbled, as if he had to strain just to form words. S...S...Stop... Increase voltage by 50,000, she heard Dr. Migs say. As the voltage increased, a horrible sound filled her mind and the room, a twisted, agony filled mechanical scream. Five clamped her hands to the sides of her head as pain flooded her body. She remembered breifly, hearing herself screaming before everything went black.

fini chapter 1

Short but sweet, I know, no worries, chapter two is halfway done already. My first fic, I made the mistake up having one big chapter that was 11,000 words and no one reviewed it because it was an angst drabble that droned on forever... ((I am in the process of restoring a 1968 Mercury Cougar, who suprise suprise will be making an appearance in this story, but in my other fanfic I was pissed because his choke cable snapped and so I turned it into a nice big beat the tar out of my car angst fest thing because he was driving me nutso... But in this chapter you will get to the the less "blown up, smashed and pain filled" version of him, AS WELL AS The familiar faces we all know and love! Because it wouldnt be a transformers fanfiction if it centered around a new transformer no one knows and a little kid trapped in a laboratory and didnt have even a cameo appearance by Optimus Prime. I mean come on, he's too awesome to not put in a story. Same with Bumblebee, Ratchet, Ironhide and.. dun dun dun DUN, because I must, I am planning on putting... Sunstreaker and Sideswipe in. Because... Well... They rock. Need I say more? RESCUE IS COMING! YAY! )) So, Im trying short chapters with lots of updates instead. Pretty please R&R, reviews make my heart happy! I've been bouncing this idea around for a while. Feels good to get it out on paper finally! YAY ME! Hold onto your lugnuts kiddies, cause this party is just gettin started. IRONHIDE! HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU, NO YOU CANT BLOW UP MY CAT! loud cussing, explosions and meowing is heard as the butterfly cat goes away now 


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer thingy- Same one as before. I dont own transformers. Duh. This story contains stuff that most kids see watching TV, but Im putting a warning here anyhow. This story contains angst, cussing, explosions, violence, Yoda getting smacked with a frying pan, kinky robot sex ((Well... Not yet, but you never know... It might later)) typos and other nasty evil scary things that might give you nightmere's...If your really physcologically fragile... and a serious wuss. Yep. Teehee... On to the awesome evilness that is...

Of Misfits and Mayhem, chapter 2, in which an old friend of Optimus Prime reveals himself, things go boom. the laws of physic's are defied without explination and an escape is made... cue awesome theme music

Once, in a galaxy far, far away...

There lived... A crazy fanfic writer.  
And she... Used the force to...

Steal underwear...

Eeheehee...

Sound of loud explosions and yelling. Theme music screeches to a halt. Naked, wrinkly little green man with pointed ears runs past, giggling as he's chased by the author, who is weilding a massive frying pan. "Eeeheehee, funny I is..." WHAM "Owwww, hurt that did. thud ((I dont own starwars. Duh)) Actual fanfic begins...

Five was floating, helplessly through an endless abyss, until suddenly she felt a giant hand, warm and soft, wrap itself around her. Your just a sparkling... A strangely soothing mechanical voice said. Where...Am I? She asked. Inside your mind, came the gentle reply. Who...Are you? Shimmerstrike... Shimmerstrike? Yes, the voice continued. We meet earlier, in the laboratory... I am sorry for what happened, my system was overloaded. What... FIVE! A voice, so familiar, filled my mind. S...Silus? Wake up Five, Shimmerstrike said softly. But... Five frantically struggled to hold on to the hand that had let her go as she was slammed back to awareness.

Blinding brightness assaulted her eyes, making her head pound. Her mouth was so dry, it felt like her tongue was made of cotton. When the light cleared, a familiar face was looking down at me, amber eyes filled with concern. S...Silus? He nodded. Are you alright Five? His deep voice asked soothingly. Y...Yes... I... It hit her suddenly, that he was out of his cage and they werent in the room they shared. Silus... How... He looked up suddenly as the sound of gunfire and voices were heard, yelling to eachother. THE ET IS OUT AND HE HAS NUMBER FIVE, ALL UNITS FULL ASSAULT MODE, HE'S ALREADY KILLED SIX PEOPLE. SEARCH UNTIL THEY'RE FOUND. My eyes widened as he scooped me into his middle arms and leapt, suddenly we were on the ceiling, held up by his tight grip on the beam we pressed against as another hand clamped over her mouth. Not a sound... he whispered softly. That a girl... Shhhh... She kept silent as a squad of 10 armed gaurds jogged below the carefully perched alien and the terrified girl and alarms went off. She rested against his chest as he rolled, holding her firmly against him, and began crawling along the ceiling like a spider with remarkable agility. Silus... He paused, looking down his chest at me. We're escaping arent we? He nodded. I need you to trust me Five, can you do that? Yeah...She whispered, her heart pounding. He nodded again. Wrap your arms around my middle and hold on then. She did as he asked.

The old warrior's ears twitched, picking up every subtle sound as he pressed against the ceiling, middle arms holding the precious child he had killed six gaurds to rescue when the mechanical lock holding his cage door shut shorted and malfunctioned. He didnt know how, but she had been in danger. He had felt it with every fiber of his being as her screams had echoed through the laboratory. It drove him to kill Joe, It drove him to take out the gaurds that tried to restrain him and it was what drove him now, as he frantically searched for a way out. He had found her laying on a gourney, scientists scrambling around her, poking at her with their awful equipment, yelling about how they were losing her pulse. Never again, would they torture his little friend. He would make sure of it. Another explosion shook the walls, sending him flying helplessly into floor. The impact knocked Five out of his arms.

THE NBE HAS ESCAPED! I REPEAT, THE NBE HAS ESCAPED! ALL UNITS BE ADVISED, HE IS ARMED AND DANGEROUS. Frell it all... Silus swore, looking down at the unconcious child in his arms and placing two fingers against her throat, checking for a pulse. Come on Five... Dont die on me... The slightest sound suddenly cought his attention, just in time to see the air shift infront of him as a massive form took shape. Sheilding her with his body, he backed up until he hit the wall. It was then he realized, the massive form was blocking the only exit.

Give me the child and you wont die. A firm mechanical voice boomed. Silus stared in awe at the 22 foot tall Mechanoid before him. A... Cybertronian? He had thought they had ceased to exist with the destruction of their planet. Are you decepticon? He asked. Blue optics narrowed. Never. It replied. We are on the same side then, Silonus said, feeling relief seep through the fear he had been fighting to hide. I am Silus of Kedara, I am a friend of your current Prime, if he still lives. Take me to your leader. The Mechanoid thought for a moment, than nodded. I am called Shimmerstrike, Elite Recon and Tactic's Specialist with Cybertronian Special Ops. If you will allow me to carry you, we can get out of here much faster. Not hesitating, Silus leapt into his massive metal hand, holding the unconcious Five firmly as Shimmerstrike activated his cloaking and they slipped invisably through the massive hole left by the Cybertronian's cannon.

"Hello Optimus Prime, this is Commander Shimmerstrike of Shadow 1 Elite, Do you copy?" -Shimmerstrike

Optimus Prime jerked out of stasis, his spark filling with joy at the familiar voice.

"This is Optimus Prime, I copy loud and clear Shimmerstrike. Good to hear your voice old friend."

"Roger that, I'm here, ran into some unfriendly natives with communication jammers, found some new friends. I'm ready to come home, activating tracking beacon. Copy." - Shimmerstrike

"Beacon located, home is exactly 2 hours south of you. Sending location now" -Optimus

"Roger that, on my way."- Shimmerstrike

"We'll see you when you get here old friend, Optimus out."

"Roger, Shimmerstrike out"

Five awoke to the feel of something soft and warm wrapped around her. She struggled, only to smack her head on something that black metal Easy there Sparkling, said a strangely familiar mechanical voice. They are called Children on this planet Shimmerstrike, another familiar voice said with a chuckle. Silus? She looked down to see, the something warm and soft was his arm, gently wrapped around her waist. I am here Five, it is alright. She looked around, noticing that they seemed to be encased in something that was made of black metal, with two slats of a strange plastic, that to her shock, appeared to be windows. The shocking part was, if what she was seeing was right, they were surrounded by sky. Where... Where are we? We are, if my readings are right, the mechanical voice said calmly, 27,500 feet above the ground, exactly 15 feet above the atmospheric cloud level and 168 miles from Portland Oregon, North America. We... We're... FLYING? She sputtered. Yes Five, Silus said softly. This thing we are sitting it, is the form Shimmerstrike selected using the earth's information system, the internet. It is called a Jet. According human technology, this form is called the F-117A Nighthawk Stealth Fighter The mechanical voice stated. I got rid of all the controls to make more room, but things are gonna be a little tight so watch your head. Wh...What if we fall? Five whispered, clinging to Silus. The mechanical voice laughed. I have been flying longer than you have existed Sparkling. Shimmerstrike said. We are not going to fall. Shimmerstrike, can we perhaps fly lower? Five gasped as the jet slowly broke through the clouds. The decent was so gentle, she hardly felt it, but it was enough to make her feel as if they were falling and she burried her face against Silus's chest. Trust me sparkling, the Mechanical voice said soothingly, close your eyes. Looking up at Silus, who nodded reassuringly, she closed her eyes. When she opened them again, they were flying only a few feet above the ground. See? Everything is going to be just fine, the mechanical voice said with a chuckle. She had just started calming down when different Mechanical voice was heard, this one somehow sounding older and almost... British?

"Shimmerstrike, are you there?" -Ratchet "Doc Hatchet! Is that you?" -Shimmerstrike "Of course is. What's your ETA?"- Ratchet "20 minutes, 32 seconds"- Shimmerstrike "What's your MACH speed?" -Ratchet, sounding suprised "65 MPH"- Shimmerstrike "Repeat. I didnt hear you correctly" -Ratchet "You heard me you old scrap heap. I am travelling at 65 miles per hour."- Shimmerstrike, sounding amused "Are you airborne?"- Ratchet, sounding very confused "Yep."- Shimmerstrike "...How?..."- Ratchet "Very carefully."- Shimmerstrike, laughing.  
Fini, chapter 2

Author's note: For those of you that dont know how airplanes work. Info time. Airplanes stay airborne, based on pressure created by airflow over the wings. To achieve a strong enough airflow to actually FLY, the plane has to be going fast enough for the airflow pressure to be more than the weight of the plane. A stealth bomber, specifically the F-117A Nighthawk Stealth Fighter Jet, is a super sonic jet, meaning its bulky and has a short wingspan and the only thing keeping it in the air is the fact that it flies at MACH 2-3, which is roughly 1500mph or more required to keep it airborne, since according to the internet 1 MACH, is 791 mph. A small cessna plane, which is a little tiny two person aircraft, requires adleast 200mph, just to get off the ground. Keep in mind, this is rough guesses mixed with research. YAY ME, but the point is, if Shimmerstrike was infact only flying at 65 MPH, 15 feet off the ground, he wouldnt be flying, he would be falling, like a rock. Hence the confusion... And ladies and gentlemen, we have offically... DEFIED THE LAWS OF PHYSICS! DUM DUM DUM DUM! For those of you super smart people that want to flame me because Im not a rocket scientist, gimme a break! This is a fanfic. Its like asking a ninja, how he kills 20 people in less then 10 seconds, while flying through the air faster then the speed of light and landing neatly on one two somehow without getting any blood on himself. HE'S A NINJA. How is Shimmerstrike breaking the laws of physic's? HE'S A TRANSFORMER. Geebus. More to come! Working on chapter 3, in which we will see much more of the transformers! YAY! Dont forget to review! Reviews make me happy! 


End file.
